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However loving and sympathetic we try to be, however sound our psychology, however frank and open our behavior, we cannot penetrate the incognito of the other man, for there are no direct relationships, not even between soul and soul. Christ stands between us, and we can only get into touch with our neighbors through him. That is why intercession is the most promising way to reach our neighbors, and corporate prayer, offered in the name of Christ, the purest form of fellowship.

Sullivan, Age of Myth. Sometimes they exist to comfort you. Sometimes they exist to drive you absolutely mad.

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Be open to either as a form of self-improvement. At the time I am writing, it is five years since my last return to England. During the first year, I could not endure my wife or children in my presence; the very smell of them was intolerable; much less could I suffer them to eat in the same room. To this hour they dare not presume to touch my bread, or drink out of the same cup, neither was I ever able to let one of them take me by the hand.

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The first money I laid out was to buy two young stone-horses, which I keep in a good stable; and next to them, the groom is my greatest favourite, for I feel my spirits revived by the smell he contracts in the stable. My horses understand me tolerably well; I converse with them at least four hours every day. They are strangers to bridle or saddle; they live in great amity with me and friendship to each other. It also introduces, to him, his family, his friends, and his partner.

Above all that the vital pillar and spirit of your life, is too than the others. For then the carnage is no longer about the loss, but about what both of these hands are going to build from it. They provide you with some things. You take all the things you want from a person - sexual chemistry, let's say, or a good conversation, or financial support, or intellectual compatibility, or niceness, or loyalty - and you get to pick three of those things.

Three - that's it. Maybe four, if you're very lucky. The rest you have to look for elsewhere. It's only in the movies that you find someone who gives you all of those things. But this isn't the movies. Women are fundamentally incapable of loving a man in the way that a man expects to be loved by a woman.

It is always time and effort better spend developing relations with new, fresh, prospective women than it will ever be in attempting to reconstruct a failed relationship. Always let a woman figure out why she wont fuck you, never do it for her. Never seriously self-deprecate with a woman you intend to be intimate with. Become a member. Sign in. This is a favorite book among AoM readers.

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This is another book written by a Christian minister who focuses his ministry on men. Like Eldredge, Paul Coughlin laments the passivity and wussiness of Christian men. He also criticizes how modern Christianity has effemenized Christ into a character who pats children on the head and spends his days petting lambs. Coughlin sort of picks up where Eldredge left off. While Eldredge does a good job explaining the spiritual angst of Christian men, Coughlin gives a concrete roadmap on how to improve things. In the Compleat Gentleman , author Brad Miner gives a thorough history of the idea of chivalry in the West.

Matthew Hussey on Dating, Attraction, and Creating Desire with Lewis Howes

The section giving the history of a gentleman was sort of tedious and I had to sarge through it. Like all things, it comes down to taste. He also sprinkles in some conservative political viewpoints, which can be a bit distracting for some. Harvard professor Harvey Mansfield created quite a stir among academics with this book, which criticizes our gender-neutral society and defends manliness as a virtue. Mansfield uses literature, history, and science to define manliness as the ability to take on risks with confidence and gusto. Mansfield makes some insightful points, but those points are few and far between.

The book is poorly organized and written. Mansfield jumps all over the place, and his arguments can be hard to follow at times. In fact, for this very reason I stopped reading the book halfway through the first time I picked it up.

I gave it another chance a few months later, and I had to force myself to finish it. Baumeister uses studies from the growing fields of evolutionary psychology and sociobiology to explain why cultures have exploited men the way they have. Baumeister argues that much of male and female behavior is hardwired and that these differences should be used to complement each other instead of as fodder for the gender war.

The book is a really interesting read, but honestly, the article he wrote that became the book sums up his main points much more succinctly.

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Listen to my interview with Dr. Listen to my podcast with Dr. She then goes on to argue how the anti-male rhetoric has been bad for both men and women. The funny asides and snarky remarks get tiresome. Lionel Tiger is anthropoloist at Rutgers University and is a leader in the growing field of Male Studies. Overall, the book is a very interesting read. There are some parts where his arguments and writing are hard to follow. I had to re-read his stuff a couple of times to get what he was trying to say.

Want to know what manliness meant to men throughout American history? Then pick up a copy of this book.

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The big take away from this book is that while there are some key features of manliness that never change, the meaning of masculinity in America has ebbed and flowed throughout history. Bottom line, read this book for the history and the awesome resources Kimmel has uncovered; skim over the pontificating. In Guyland , Kimmel sets out to explain the sociological and cultural factors that have contributed to young men extending adolescence well into their twenties.

At the end of the book, Kimmel proposes a new take on masculinity for young men that is of course less masculine and more feminine. There were a few interesting tidbits throughout Guyland , particularly how cultural and racial differences affect the behavior of young men.

While American Manhood does a good job describing the changing face of manliness throughout American history, Manhood in America is better researched and written. While many of books on this list focus on American or Western masculinity, Manhood in the Making is a cross-cultural study of manliness. Anthropologist David Gilmore analyzes the cultures of the world, especially tribal cultures, and finds universal notions of what manliness means within those societies.

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